Why do I feel this constant emptiness?

You want to be known. But if you keep letting people push you around, you will never be known. That's my best advice. If I were in your situation, I would get my hands on as much money as I can, and then leave and be free.Who cares if you get caught? If your life would be usless anyways, do whatever the hell you want. Nobody is the boss of you.Don't let other people drive your dreams. Only thing you'll get that way is deeper in the hole.